Previously on The Starter Wife:
I was a slave to my husband when he left me.
I have to chase a man down the beach for a kiss.
You're gone from Lou
to... the homeless guy?
Homeless?
You've gotta get something on her.
Like a tape of her accepting the money.
When we were making love in your grotto,
your BlackBerry was not so very important.
Get the hell out of my home!
I'm in rehab.
What happened to France?
I need you to pretend to be Bambi.
Where's the lyin' bitch?
Why Bambi, why?
I hated that dog.
Cat.
Bunny. Hamster.
You can't afford me anymore.
But the good news is now, we can date.
We at Durango are naturally
very concerned about Lou Manahan's disappearance.
We got evicted, and Molly offered to let us stay here.
I did.
You must hate me,
but I've missed you so much.
Please forgive me. I forgive you.
I'll tell you anything you want to know.
Don't make me play 20 Questions, Sam.
I killed a man.
How well do you know this Sam?
Not at all, apparently.
Who is he?
And I don't want any crap about him being a great guy.
He's my lover.
He's a killer.
My lover.
Killer!
I want the truth!
He's a killer and my lover!
Get it?
Or is that too hard for you to understand?
Like I'm the only one with a complicated relationship?
He's done time?
Yes.
A little detail you conveniently forgot.
I- it just-it-
Slipped your mind?
What's left of it.
Let's go easy on her, Joan.
Oh, says the woman who abandoned her in her time of need.
Joan.
Jorge.
You gonna tell us why he was in jail?
Answer the question.
Manslaughter.
I'm off.
What'd I miss?
Sam may have murdered Lou.
He's done time for manslaughter,
and Molly still likes him.
I think I still like him.
And I do not believe that he murdered Lou.
I got-we don't even know that he's dead.
Damn, how long does it take to get to Beverly Hills?
Want company?
Does he have killer's eyes?
Remember everything. Everything.
Mrs. William gave me a shopping list.
Oh.
Who's Mrs. Williams?
Nana, I better go talk to her.
Sit!
You know, I really need a realtor.
Why was Sam's Band-Aide at boo-boo,
Lou- Lou's place?
I don't know.
I'll go find out.
Not alone you won't.
Oh, goodie, a field trip.
Getting laid in Malibu doesn't have to be this hard.
Hey, listen, sister,
before you start embarrassing me
with any of your snippy remarks,
may I just remind you that I still bear
a faded spider tattoo on my right arm.
Fine. I'll be on my best behavior.
Maybe he's scrounging for nickels
under the Burger King takeout window.
I like to see my visitors
before they see me.
We should have-
Called ahead.
Hi. I'm Cricket.
Oh, introductions. Cricket, Sam.
Nice to meet you.
Molly tells us you're from the east coast.
Connecticut.
Where'd you get that bruise?
Malibu.
Uh, Joan... Sam.
Sam... Joan.
Hello.
I assume you're all here about the police.
I- I didn't mean to implicate you.
She didn't. She just blurted it out.
Curious George. It's okay, Molly.
You told the truth.
As-as- as far as I knew it.
I- I couldn't answer why...
your Band-Aid was found
at Lou's the night he disappeared.
Yeah, who could put that together?
I was on Lou's patio that night.
And I was in a fight.
But as I told the police, not with Lou.
I take care of what the gates and the security systems miss.
If I see a bum snooping around, I watch him.
If he tries to break in, I stop him.
So do you think he did something to Lou?
No, no, I caught him before he even broke in.
And the police believe that?
They've asked me not to leave town.
I believe you, Sam.
Why would Sam kill Lou?
There-there- there was nothing taken!
There were antique watches all over the dresser.
Oh, I'm not saying that- that if anything was stolen,
that you would have killed Lou.
I'm just saying
that nobody would have killed Lou without-
without a motive, especially you.
Sam stopped a robbery.
Okay?
Without any expectation of-of-
of reward or even thanks.
He risked his life for someone else's possessions.
I'm not a hero, Molly.
Okay.
Bye.
Thanks for having us.
Come on, girls. Let's go.
I think I will borrow this.
Okay.
COME ON
I'm feeling a little better about Sam.
I hope you'll both be happy now that he hasn't killed.
Again.
This is Larry,
Papa's top realtor.
Ooh.
Oh, been spending a lot of time at the gym?
It's nice to meet you, Molly.
Joan has told me so much about you.
Uh...
What are you staring at?
There's nothing in there.
Let me show you the rest of the house.
I don't need to see it.
I'm sure it's beautiful,
like all the other houses you've shown me.
I'm sorry.
I- I don't even know what I'm looking for.
It's like you're waiting for a sign.
Exactly. Exactly.
It's like I'm- I'm waiting for the-
the refrigerator genie.
to tell me what I should do with the rest of my life!
Have you ever done it on Breccia Oniciata Italian marble?
Yes.
THANK?
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the house?
Where's your purse?
There's no way I'm going back in there.
Let's go.
No, no, no!
Cricket, I can- I can replace everything.
Larry Hamil, New World Realty.
Cricket Stewart. I'm not in the market.
Well, if that changes...
give me a call.
We can't afford anything in this area.
I'm not saying rent a whole house,
but you see the size of these things?
And most of them have only one or two people living in them.
Now you're trying to tell me that there's not someone
who could use some extra cash to rent us some rooms?
Nana, nobody here needs more money.
Uh. You don't know that.
I am, uh, going to, uh, make up some flyers.
Fine.
Okay.
Hmm.
Hi, Pappy, how are you? How's the chateau?
Me?
Well, I guess you heard from Clarity Harbor.
You haven't?
Well, I'm doing fine.
It's easier than I thought, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Hello!
Hi.
Is Shoshanna here?
No.
But your, uh, your daddy's somewhere.
Enjoying his day off.
Oh, uh- um-um.
Daddy, I'm here!
What does he have you doing?
Cricket.
Ah! The bug.
Not the person.
And if I catch it soon,
I might be able to make the end of my-
of my grandfather's 80th birthday party.
I'm sure that tugged Kenny's heartstrings.
He saw it more as, uh,
as good motivation.
But I think-
Uh-mm.
Yet another Kenny emergency.
Right up there with needing a phone
by the left side of the toilet,
or not being able
to open the Tibetan screening room curtains.
The day you forget you have a choice
about doing this job is the day you should quit.
Your daughter's looking for you.
What are you doing here?
Uh, you know, Shoshanna's on her way up to Malibu.
She thought it'd be fun to pick up Jaden.
Check your email. I need to pick up a few things.
You know, it's been really great
to watch this whole bonding process between the girls.
The girls...
Um, I've been thinking about Jaden, what's best for her.
Really?
Mr. "How about watching Jaws
before you spend your summer at the beach. "
That was a mistake.
I'm gonna ask Shoshanna to marry me.
We're not even divorced yet.
How could you think
that changing wives like you change your car lease
is what's best for Jaden?
What's best for Jaden is having a two-parent home.
Ya think?
I really thought you were beyond all this.
What on earth are you talking about?
Chasing after my boss,
trying to keep Jaden and Shoshanna apart,
lashing out when you hear my good news.
I can't be the center of your life anymore, Molly.
I'll work on that.
Uh...
Jaden and I might fly up
to visit my mom at the end of the summer,
so if you could hold off on showing her
United 93, that would be super.
Okay.
In a way, it's the lie that hurts the most.
Lies are the lubricant of relationships.
I've got a headache.
Your ass looks great in that.
I'm still in rehab.
I mean, what did you want Jorge to say?
"I had a great day, honey,
especially the bit where I banged the help. "
I mean, then you'd be fine?
No. Okay, you're right.
Okay, we're all in agreement.
Lying is an important part of every marriage.
It's right up there with intimacy and trust.
Thank you.
Hmm. It's him.
Aaron.
He looks very nice.
He is very nice.
This morning, he left a bran muffin and a cappuccino on my doorstep.
Beats a bloodied horse head.
Well, maybe for you, but our boy likes 'em edgy.
He must have gone through my receipts
and mapped out all my watering holes.
That means he knows my grocery store,
where I buy my shoes.
He knows I have breakfast every Saturday at Hugo's.
I'm ruined.
Um, Rodney, you can sit down.
He's got a date.
Hmm. Uh-huh.
Oh.
Is he cuter than me?
Yes.
Yeah, he is.
But he really is.
Okay, that's it.
Getting rid of these chairs is letting go
of a career that's dying.
But it's time to move on.
Turn the page.One door closes, another opens.
That's what Aaron says.
Oh, man. He put it that way?
It's how he puts everything.
- Hi! - Hi.?
I came for Jaden.
Kenny's got you running his errands now?
What are you doing with this guy?
You don't need his money. You don't need his power.
He's a creative dolt with the morals of a flea.
Not that that's any of our business.
Molly already took Jaden to her dad's.
Why would I want to be in a relationship
with the head of a movie studio?
Let's see. That's a tough one.
Oh, you go, girl.
Guy, that's hideous!
I actually just sold 'em all.
Someone actually wants those?
Keep your eye open for August's InStyle.
They're, uh, going to be in a room that's all blue.
Erte blue, the walls, the stain on the floor.
The chairs seem to float.
Beyond them a huge window overlooking a canyon at night.
12 pin spots.
Picking up the gold leaf, mirroring the city lights.
God, it'd look gorgeous, like my Marie Antoinette music video.
Exactly. You know that video.
The one where the dancers are actually in her hair.
Oh, yeah.
That's hot, girl.
Whoo!
Did you love the boots?
Oh, my God. How did you dance in those?
Like a maniac.
I need those chairs.
Come on. Tell Beyonc? she got trumped.
You want me to tell Beyonc?
Well, I could-did you bring your, uh, checkbook?
Yeah! I did!
This is good.
Here's to little tarts with money.
Oh, yes.
Mm. Your share of the profit.
Are you sure?
All I did was lie.
No, no. We call that selling.
Here's to offloading the hideous chairs.
Mm.
Oh.
Ooh, damn!
Molly's not here.
What are you doing?
Give me the keys!
What are you doing? Come on!
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Stop! Stop!
Shoshanna's never gonna say yes, right?
She's not that blonde.
Not naturally anyway.
* Beautiful Cricket
* I'm such a schmuck
OH MY GOD
* Please take me back
* Though I don't deserve such love *
* I've been a dirt bag right from the start *
* Keeping Molly from you
* And then breaking your heart *
Are you okay with this?
Yeah. I think.
We need another verse!
* I'm hating myself
* Like really it's true
* But enough about me
* 'Cause I really love you *
You can come in now, Jorge.
Joan.
She's dead,isn't she? Joan McAllister?
She's not dead.
Oh!
Car didn't make it.
See that she gets this.
Her court date will be in the mail.
She got lucky tonight.
I hope she takes this very,very seriously.
Thank you.
What are you? 12!
Get me a shot of Demerol,
a prescription for Darvoset, and send me home!
- I'll just-I'll- - Oh,Molly!
Shut up! Perfect timing.
They let that kid reset my nose!
Lucky for him I was unconscious.
I gather you're gonna be fine.
Will be!
I put a call into Doctor Suderman.
Your plastic surgeon?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah,how about the lawyer, for your DUl?
You're in trouble.
Oh,I'll deal with that later.
Who's your lawyer anyway? Mine'll just tell Pappy.
Well,Pappy's in France. Why does he have to know?
Because your face looks like it was hit with a Prius!
And your Prius looks like it was hit with a telephone pole!
I'll tell her I had a face lift or a nose job,
or a face lift and a nose job.
Hold on.
I will have a face lift and a nose job,
but I'll tell everybody else it was the car accident.
I'll tell Pappy I told everybody it was a car accident
because I didn't want them to know I had work done,
and that I had to get a new car to be convincing! It's all good.
No clouds, just silver lining.
Did you bring the Demerol?
My angel of mercy.
Put 'er there.
What are you doing?
Ah!
Could the doctor give you a chin like this?
I'm not looking for chins.
Big mistake.
It would go great with the Navigator nose.
Where's our folder?
Oh.
You know,I could plump my lower lip.
Symmetry is key.
I served her up
a perfectly healthy, clean,working stud,
and she goes for the little match boy.
Oh,is that the bum?
Oh!
I could take him home with me.
He has a fine looking dog too.
Sure.
What is it,you know, everybody has
about dogs being charming?
Loving dogs is a good sign in people.
Hitler had a dog called Blondie.
You thought Kenny was the answer to everything.
Blow in my ear, and I'll follow you anywhere.
Doing it again.
I am doing it again. We made a date.
Oh,goodie. But who's gonna show up?
Doctor Jekyll or Mister Hyde?
Sam told me about last night.
The man appeared out of the dark
and got rough with me.
He tried to stop you from driving drunk.
Well,how about using his words?
He's got a violent streak,Molly.
I saw it up close. Open your eyes.
Open my eyes?
Open my eyes,Joan?
You just think that you can pass judgment
on everything in my life.
I don't do that to you... ever.
Well,hit me with it. What do you wanna say?
Fine. Enjoy your date with Ted Bundy.
I am never leavin'.
I had no idea,Molly.
Now,all this time I thought you were just,uh,
a shallow piece of arm candy.
I'm arm candy?
Ooh,a little past your shelf life.
Which doesn't matter because you have talent to fall back on.
You and Shoshanna are more alike than you think.
Did she actually say she's using Kenny?
She wants a bigger movie career.
Oh. Mm-hmm.
So the marriage may really happen.
Ugh,poor thing.
Mrs. Shoshanna Kagan.
Blah.
sam?
we want ask some?
all right?
Sam can't be in traffic
because he doesn't have a car.
He can't be stuck at work.
And he can't be sewing a vest out of girl skins
because he doesn't have electricity.
yes?
The police picked up Sam.
They found a witness who saw him beating Lou.
Who?
Another drifter.
They're holding him for questioning too.
This doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't make any sense.
I was on the beach that night. I didn't see anything.
I'm Sam's alibi!
So after Mr. Manahan stood you up,
you saw Sam on the beach,and you went down to talk to him.
That's right. Around nine o'clock.
What time did your witness say they saw Sam beating up Lou?
Which I do not believe at all, by the way.
A little after 8:00. So what did you talk about?
Huh?
What did you say to each other?
I don't see how that's... material.
Is that the word?
Why don't you let me be the judge of that?
Sam actually didn't say anything,
and I said,"Don't ruin it. "
Ruin what?
Our kiss.
Okeydokey.
So you see, Sam did not have the time
to kill Lou and dispose of his body.
The ocean is three feet away.
The ocean.
High tide and everything.
Number three, no mayo,super-sized.
Precious!
Put the dog in the basket,
you little bitch,or I am so not gonna date you!
Have you tried match. com?
Jeez,Molly, who's your trainer?
You're alive!
No thanks to you. You've got a hell of an elbow.
I thought you were murdered.
Where were you?
Some fleabag motel up in Zuma.
This whole thing's been a fiasco.
What whole thing?
The less you know the better.
You planned this?
If this is a publicity stunt for Double Vortex,
I'm gonna kill you.
That piece of crap? No.
It's a suicide, pure and simple.
You faked your suicide?
I'm tryin' to,
but I guess the note blew away.
Why? I don't know.
I had it under a bottle of booze on the-
Oh,Lou,this isn't the time to play dumb.
Why would you do this?
I'm tired of making movies for 14-year-old boys.
Well,then quit.
That's what other people do.
You don't have to run a studio.
Produce movies that you wanna make.
I have nothing to say anymore.
You have to have something to say to make a decent movie.
Lou,this can't be about job dissatisfaction.
It's too waspy.
Talk to me.
I'm lonely,okay?
I mean,who are my friends?
The ones who call you on your BS,
tell ya bad jokes, forget your birthday?
Nobody in this friggin' town
forgets Lou Manahan's birthday.
You should see the junk I get from people I don't even know.
Hey,those cufflinks were not junk.
I'm not talking about you. It's all the rest of 'em.
You know what? You're being an idiot.
Come on, let's go call the cops
and tell them that you're not dead.
It's too late,Molly. I'm done.
I wanna go away. It's all arranged.
I bought a pampas in Argentina.
You wanna come?
Is that why you're here?
No,but it sounded good for a moment,didn't it?
I need someone to find the note.
I'm not taking it. I'm not taking it.
Please. Molly,please. Please.
Well,all this stuff at the memorial service,
it's just - you don't sound depressed.
"I would like Etta James to sing At Last,
followed by Al Pacino reading
the last two paragraphs of Finnegan's Wake.
You sound like an event planner,
not someone who's about to walk into the ocean.
I'm getting notes on my suicide note.
You're gonna go?
Everybody wants to go to their own funeral.
Oh,and the joke's on anyone who ever gave a rat's ass about you!
That's the point, nobody gives a rat's ass about me.
It's called closure.
Oh,spare me.
At least this'll clear Sam.
Who's Sam?
My friend who isn't pretending to be dead,
who is rotting away in jail as we speak.
How long has he been rotting there?
Since about 1:00.
Why would you write me your suicide note?
Because I was having dinner at your house that night.
I put it in the mailbox. It got jammed.
And you found it just now.
So you were coming to dinner that night?
It was tempting.
Put that in the note.
I knew you'd have an opinion.
"That the prospect of having dinner with me
almost made you regain your will to live. "
You know,or,you know,
just put it in your own - in your own words.
That's fine.
"The thought of spending time with you...
was the first thing in a long time
to bring a smile to my face.
But I'd rather have you disappointed in me now...
than when you got to know me better.
Oh,Lou.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
You too.
I hope this gets Sam out by tomorrow night.
It would be nice if he could be out by dinner.
Here's some fun for you.
Oh,keep all the catalogs, and throw the rest away.
Has Nana been messing with this?
Oh,please.
No. Stop.
? Coupon Bonanza
Concrete coatings.
Yeah. Interesting mail.
Thank you.
Ooh.
Johnny Hot Wax,
car detailing service,59.95.
Too bad there's nothing left to detail.
You get a full body spray-on tan.
Fantastic. Okay. Enough.
What else do we have?
A free sample.
Thank you. Oh!
Yep. Mm-hmm.
New Time Rewind overnight wrinkle repair cream.
Damn,too bad I didn't go through my mail
before I booked my surgery.
Yeah.
What's happening?
We're trying to watch TV!
Yeah,now we're going through mail.
It says overnight. You can use it later.
No. That's mine.
Uh,okay.
Oh! Oh,look,I got a letter.
Can I just spend a quiet day
watching TV like the rest of America?
Oh!
It's from Lou.
He's alive?
It's a suicide note.
I- he-it-it was in the stack all this time.
That-that's why we didn't find it.
We should - we should call the police.
Very powerful.
Obviously,Sam had nothing to do with Mr. Manahan's death.
No,Lou killed himself, so he wouldn't disappoint you.
You put a smile on his face.
Looks like we were wrong about a lot of things.
Good thing that note showed up when it did.
I hadn't gone through my mail
since I came back to town.
Molly just brought it to me.
Talk about perfect timing.
Listen,lady, you need help.
I don't know why you need to be involved
with everyone in this case,
but I'm gonna give you a chance to take back this suicide note
before you get stuck with a felony false evidence charge.
I'll tell you why she needs to be involved with everyone,
because she gives a damn.
Even if it makes her a giant pain in the ass.
And if she's willing to stand here
and be humiliated by you two lugs,
then I know it's for a good reason.
So you take that damn letter,
and you do what you have to do to prove it's real.
It's called doing your damn job.
Fine.
I want a sample of all your handwriting.
Well.
the Fs,the Cs, and the Ks don't match up,
so I'm feeling pretty good about that.
But,uh,we're gonna need to bring in an expert,
and see what he has to say.
I think we're done here.
I'm supposed to say that.
Follow me.
I'm sorry I said Sam was like Ted Bundy.
And if you want to get into something
with your residence challenge guy,
then don't let me and my damn mouth stop you.
- Aaron. - Rodney,hi.
Hi.
I've been meaning to call to thank you for the muffin.
Oh,you're so welcome.
Hey,I sold the chairs.
Oh.
Oh,excuse me.
Hello?
Hi.
Oh,no.
Well,at least we know now.
Thanks for calling.
Uh,Lou Manahan committed suicide.
Wow. Did you know him?
No,but wow.
It's still sort of hitting me.
Yeah.
Can I sit down?
Sure.
Hello? Oh,hi,Molly.
No.
How awful.
Thank God he wasn't murdered.
But how awful.
Lou,suicide.
You slashed his tires? Shut up.
No,you shut up!
How am I supposed to perform
with those chairs in the other room?
Giles is,like, the lamest feebo ever.
Hey,Jorge.
Really?
Oh,my God.
No?
Are you kidding?
No?
Thanks,man.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Uh,later.
I - Lou...
he's dead.
Oh!
Bummer.
You're looking at the new CEO of Durango Studios.
In a way, it's a good thing that I had these weeks to prepare.
The only thing I have to do now is change offices
and get rid of a few deadbeats in development.
Does this mean that you can greenlight Joan of Arc for me?
Babe,I can greenlight anything I want.
Hmm.
Huh?
Your new position seems to agree with you.
Ow.
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